Date:: Monday, September 3rd, 2012 Channel: WTN (Wrestling Television Network) Venue: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada Time:: 9pm EST/ 5pm PST
As the new CEO of MPW.....
[The scene starts off with Kurt Newman standing behind a podium. A MPW logo is on the front of the podium as Kurt wears a nice business suit. Kurt as a huge smile on his face as the camera zooms in from the waste up.]
Kurt Newman: “My fellow wrestlers. If you haven’t heard yet, which if you haven’t I’m starting to wonder where the hell you’ve been, I am your new CEO here in MPW. Now I now many of you have questions why I’m the new CEO here in MPW. I was interested myself when management first came to me with this offer, but I wasn’t surprised when they said they were in dire straits……and I’m not talking about how they were locked in a room and was on a bender of listening to the great rock group Dire Straits.”
[Kurt gives a strange look on his face, but plays it cool as he continues his speech.]
Kurt Newman: “Once I was able to look through the financial records of MPW and see what was keeping this place together, I found out that this place was only sticking together by bubble gum and paper clips, just like a Rage promo. Now I may act dump and be goofy at times, but I know how to run a company. Being CEO of Newman industries, I’m use to going into other businesses and saving them from financial destruction. So to put it nice and simple to everyone, I’m helping paying for your paychecks. You’re welcome.”
[Kurt pauses again as he shows a funny expression on his face. He regains his composure again as he continues the promo.]
Kurt Newman: “For the past couple of weeks now, I’ve been fixing this place up to standard. Now we were in so much dept, it was like Taufiks career. But, after manly sleepless nights and the help of my crew, we now we have a surplus that will help us make that next step to greatness. As the new CEO of MPW, I will make if perfectly clear. I will be fair. I will be just and I will……………………………”
[Kurt pauses again as he braces himself on the podium and gives a few loud grunts while twitching. The look on Kurt’s face is a classic…..well……just read till the end and you’ll understand what happen. Don’t want to ruin it for you. Kurt slowly regains his exposure as he continues his speech.]
Kurt Newman: “…..and I will…….. bring you all to greatness if you follow me. Now if you’ll excuse me, The Female Jello Wrestling Championship is on and I do not want to miss it. So, thank you for your time and God Bless MPW.”
[Kurt throws up a peace sign as he walks off. While he’s walking off though, you can notice that he’s not wearing any pants. Instead, he’s wearing a leopard g-string. Shortly after Kurt walks away from the podium, a female in a blue swim suite slowly stands up and makes her way from out behind the desk. The blonde takes her fore arm and wipes it across her lips and follows Kurt as the scene ends.]
Bob Herman: We don’t need change; I like it better with Adams and TWI running the show
Thomas Simon: Let’s get right in to the action!
[FU Betta by Neon Hitch hits and the fans cheer as Sonja Lickinova makes her way to the ring]
Honey Winters: Making her way to the ring from Groves Valley, Phloriphornia by way of Saratov, Russia, The Molotov Mocktail, Sonja Lickinova!
[Sonja raises her arm in the air as the fans cheer for her. She waits for Jeff Jackson who is scheduled to make his debut match. "The Thing That Should Not Be" (S&M Version) by Metallica hits and the fans eagerly await the newest MPW Superstar. His entrance video plays for a little while]
Honey Winters: And her opponent, making his MPW debut from Halifax Nova Scotia, Canada.. Jeff..
[An image comes on the MPWtron of Jeff Jackson laid out backstage. The camera widens and you see MPW newcomer Scotty Devine standing over him with a lead pipe in hand. Jackson is out cold as Devine looks at the camera and smirks as the camera cuts back to inside the ring where Sonja is not quite certain what to do now. She is asking Jude Mason what to do but before he can answer ‘My Hero’ by Foo Fighters blasts as MPW GM Bill Adams strolls out with his bodyguard Titan in tow.]
Bob Herman: Now this is quality television
Thomas Simon: What does Bill Adams have planned now…..OH no! Now Sonja is getting a beat down as well! What did she do to Titan?
Bob Herman: Nothing! They are on Bill Adams time and when he wants air time, he gets it!
[Titan picks up Sonja with one hand and puts his huge hand around her throat. He lifts her up in to the air and chokeslams her to the mat. Bill Adams smiles and points up at Titan. Titan picks up Sonja’s body and sets her up for a Titan Bomb (Last Ride). He lifts her and slams her back down to the mat. Adams kicks her until she falls out of the ring and the crowd boo’s them.]
Bill Adams: Ladies and Gentleman that is how you clean house. Sorry Sonja but you were on my time! You see this is my show because I can do whatever the hell I want.
[The crowd boos]
Bill Adams: Kurt Newman is a joke and for all that had just seen his public address you can see that he is a joke. MPW needs a CEO who is a professional like me. You want to generate money in to a wrestling company? Well Newman isn’t your guy, if anything he is going to put this company in debt with his lack of knowledge and lack of ability to be a leader.
[The crowd boo’s harder]
Bill Adams: You wouldn’t want Bret Favre taking over the NFL would you? NO! You wouldn’t want Wayne Gretzky taking over the NHL would you? NO! Well this is more like Charles Jenkins taking over the NBA...
Titan: Who?
Bill Adams: Exactly.. Who? A no name like Kurt Newman, a man that had to create his own Championship belt.. Is now running this place?!?!?! How on earth are we ever going to take over the wrestling world with him in charge? Well done board of directors, well done taking two steps backwards after the most successful pay per view in the history of wrestling. You know why it was that successful? BECAUSE IT WAS MY VISION!
[Adam’s face is turning red and Titan looks down at him with his arms folded]
Bill Adams: You wanted to get a rise out of me well you did. To the board of directors and to Kurt Newman himself, this is MY Federation and it always will be. Thhhhhhank you!
[‘My Hero’ by the Foo Fighters hits and Adams steps out of the ring and leads the way to the back with Titan]
Thomas Simon: That was intense, it seems Adam is really pissed!
Bob Herman: You think Thomas? What if we had someone like.... Justin Fischer just take your job as announcer? Same thing as a nobody like Newman taking the CEO job!
Thomas Simon: Now onto our update on the former manager of John Fisherman, Ms. Biguns. No for those who have missed out last week, in the fallout of his loss to Bliss on Monday Night Main Event, the self-proclaimed epitome of talent took out his frustrations on his manager.
John Fisherman: ...I don't need this. I'm a former World champion for Christ's sake, and I won that title on my own! I thought that I needed you, but quite frankly, you need me. And you know what else? I'm done. I can't take this shit anymore...find yourself another client!
[And with that, John stormed off camera, leaving Ms. Biguns behind to wallow in his disdain to wipe the tears from her eyes.]
Thomas Simon: Since then we've been unable to track down John Fisherman, but as we're about to find out, Ms. Biguns has already arranged plans to find his replacement.
Bob Herman: What? She's looking for a new client? Why the hell was I not informed?
Thomas Simon: Because you're stuck here with me...
Bob Herman: Quit cramping my style Tommy boy!
Thomas Simon: Well anyway, our colleague Tim Bowers has incidentally volunteered to help her as she conducts live interviews with what I believe to be several candidates that have already lined up outside her office in the back. So let's go live where we will get an update from Tim.
[The camera switches over to Ms. Biguns's office, where the woman herself is sitting at her desk with a ton of paperwork and Tim Bowers is standing behind her with a microphone in hand.]
Tim Bowers: Thanks Tom, as you can see, Ms. Biguns is rather determined to find a suitable replacement for her former client. The corridor outside is packed with people of all shapes and sizes just lining up for an interview with Ms. Biguns, some of which are even current members of the MPW and Step Up rosters. In fact, I believe that we're just about ready to conduct our first interview.
Ms. Biguns: Umm Tim...we're ready.
Tim Bowers: That's what I was just...
Ms. Biguns: Well? Send in the first candidate!
Tim Bowers: Oh right of course, sorry.
[Tim rushes off camera to welcome the first candidate, and in walks in the one and only Chicken. He is very nervous to approach Ms. Biguns. With a rather confused look on her face, she offers to shake his hand. He complies, and upon release, he immediately sniffs his hand, as if he intends to never wash it again...]
Ms. Biguns: Thank you for coming. Take a seat.
Chicken: Oh...uhh...okay...
[He takes a seat opposite the desk, but not without catching a quick glance of Ms. Biguns's cleavage as she sits back down.]
Ms. Biguns: Your name?
Chicken: ...uh what? Oh right. Umm...Chicken.
Ms. Biguns: Chicken? That's your name?
Chicken: Umm...yes.
[She let out a sigh as she resumed to write something on paper, leaving Chicken to gaze at such a remarkable cleavage shot, which the crowd suddenly pops. Chicken is already beginning to sweat.]
Ms. Biguns: Alright then. So what makes you think you have what it takes to be my client?
Chicken ...oh umm...I just...uhh...
[She finally realizes what's going on.]
Ms. Biguns: Excuse me...
Chicken: ...
Ms. Biguns: My face is up here.
[Chicken's eyes suddenly widen. He then looks down and panics. Suddenly he launches out of the chair, snags one of the sheets of paper from the desk and uses it to cover his crotch as he rushes out of the room.]
Chicken: Oh hell!
[Both Ms. Biguns and Tim Bowers are in shock.]
Ms. Biguns: Utterly useless...
[Tim addresses the broadcast team.]
Tim Bowers: Umm...wow. Let's hope that not all of our candidates are...like that.
[The camera switches back to Thomas Simon and Bob Herman.]
Thomas Simon: Okay, thanks Tim. We'll have another update on her progress later on in the show.
Bob Herman: My god that Chicken, what a clucking dweeb!
Thomas Simon: Clever Bob...clever... MPW Nation we will return after these short messages
Bill Adams: Come in!
[The door opens and Brandon Nytrus walks in.]
Bill Adams: Brandon my boy! Come in have a seat….grab some jerky!
Brandon Nytrus: Thanks boss……listen first things first…I want to say it is an honor to be in your presence.
Bill Adams: Of course it is….I built this place!
Brandon Nytrus: I’m just curious as to why you invited me here this week. I mean I have been cleaning up at Step Up….well until last week.
Bill Adams: Step Up, Schmep Up….I could care less about Cunningham and his band of merry idiots. I invited you here for one reason and ONE reason only…..Trey Baxter! I seen the way you trash talk him on twitter….I seen you attack him last week….
Brandon Nytrus: Did I overstep my bounds at all? I know he is champion but I just felt he needed to be shut up!
Bill Adams: Oh no no no….you were perfectly right in doing what you did…so much that in fact at Fusion on Wednesday, September 19th…..you will be booked in the main event against that smart mouthed moron and regrettably my MPW World Champion Trey Baxter.
Brandon Nytrus: Really!??!?! You kidding me? Wow!! I will not let you down boss! I’m going to make that asshole wish he never opened a twitter account!!
Bill Adams: No problem Brandon….show me that you have what it takes to hang with the big boys and bring me back that title!
Brandon Nytrus: Wait…..you mean this is for the World title?!?!
Bill Adams: You know it Brandon and just for kicks it’ll be a ladder match!
Brandon Nytrus: Fuck yeah! I’m going to beat that son of a bitch to within an inch of his worthless little life and then climb up that ladder and become MPW World Champion!!!
Bill Adams: Good man! No listen one last thing…..
Brandon Nytrus: Name it boss….
Bill Adams: Could you pass along a message to the lovely Ms. Biguns for me? Thanks kid!
Brandon Nytrus: Anytime boss!
[Adams hands Nytrus a piece of paper and he walks out of the office as the screen fades on Adams eating another piece of jerky.]
[The screen cuts to the [fXs] symbol as the first beats of “The Fire” hit the arena. As the song moves into the chosen verse, Freddie steps out from behind the curtain as he just stands there, bouncing from side to side, before making his slow walk towards the ring.]
Honey Winters: This match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring from Atlanta Georgia, Freddy Styles!
[Freddie slowly walks up the ring steps, and steps through the ropes. He then stands on the middle rope, holding one arm above him, before stepping down and leaning over in a corner, awaiting the beginning of the match. Going Under by Evanescence hits and the fans boo louder. Laura Tavares walks out on to the stage with her arms folded. She looks out into the fans and doesn’t break her straight face.]
Honey Winters: And his opponent from Los Angeles California, Laura Tavares!
Bob Herman: Laura is looking HOT!
[Laura puts her hands on her hips and waits at the bottom of the ramp. She smirks and walks up the steel steps. She walks through the bottom rope and takes the opposing corner from Freddy. The referee checks both wrestlers and rings the bell]
Bob Herman: Here we go!
[Laura and Freddy circle each other before Laura rushes in and sweeps the legs. She pins Freddy.]
1...
Thomas Simon: Laura trying to put this one away early
Bob Herman: Do you blame her? Freddy Styles is no one to mess with
[Freddy stands up and Laura puts him in a headlock. He pushes her to the ropes and throws her off the opposing ropes. She runs back and slides under his legs. She dropkicks him from behind and he goes flying forward to the mat. He gets to his knees and looks around in shock. Laura tells him to bring it. Freddy swings at Laura but she ducks and punches him. She runs off the ropes and bounces back. She jumps and attempts a head scissors but Freddy catches her and puts her on his shoulders. He falls back with a Samoan drop and stands up.]
Freddy Styles: Come on Bitch get up!
[Laura crawls to the corner and Freddy stalks her. He picks her up and puts her arms over the top ropes. He runs back to the opposite corner and than runs and jumps with a splash. Laura falls to the ground and holds her chest. Freddy pounds his chest and plays to the fans who are split behind him]
Bob Herman: Freddy Styles in control now but Laura will win this one!
Thomas Simon: You are senile Bob
[Freddy picks Laura up and set her up for a powerslam. He holds her on his shoulders and starts walking with her. She wiggles out and falls behind him. She rolls out of the ring and takes a breather. The fans boo and she catches her breathe by the steel steps. She smiles and laughs sadistically while flipping off a fan]
Thomas Simon: Real lady like
Bob Herman: She’s one tough cookie!
[Freddy climbs out of the ring and walks to Laura. He turns her around and grabs her head. He throws her back in the ring and the fans cheer. Laura gets to her feet and kicks Freddy in the stomach. She runs off the ropes and goes for a DDT but Freddy blocks it and tosses her across the ring. Laura holds her torso but gets to her feet. She rests in the corner and Freddy attempts another splash. Laura moves and Freddy crashes in the corner. Laura flips him around and puts his arms over the top rope. She chops his chest and than takes her boot and chokes him with it. The referee counts and Laura lets go. Freddy holds his throat but Laura goes for the choke again. The referee counts again and Laura lets up. She climbs the ropes behind Freddy and wraps her legs around his head. She puts him in a choke hold with her legs while holding herself on the top rope with her arms]
Bob Herman: Where do I sign up! Me next!
Thomas Simon: Laura with a unique choke hold on Freddy Styles here!
[The referee counts again and Laura breaks it. The fans whistle and cheer as she jumps down off the ropes. She looks to hit Freddy with her signature Superkick but than the video board turns on back to Ms. Biguns office]
Ms. Biguns: Hm... Who’s next? Maybe I should call that guy.. What’s his name... Johnny Clash? He did say on Twitter he might be interested..
[Biguns dials her phone the speakerphone rings. Finally the voicemail picks up]
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